Last night, I slept better than I have in the past 5 nights. That doesn’t mean I slept well, but I slept better. I think I might have actually hit 8 hours. Zeo says 6 hours and 50 minutes but it looks like the headband fell off or lost contact with my forehead for over an hour. I still had crazy dreams (about saving my dogs from danger. I always have this dream. What do parents of human children do? I think I would never stop dreaming about keeping them safe). I also woke up with no blood in my arms multiple times and pain in my neck, as usual, but what was different from the other nights? Well, yesterday, I got a bit of exercise at the park (walking slowly, but something), I used arnica and took a painkiller for the muscle pain, I took my antihistamine nasal spray twice, I used my neck stretcher thingy (like a mini-rack for your spine), I did mild leg and arm stretches, I didn’t eat last night after 5 or 6pm, and I did a little mental preparation before I went to sleep, telling myself that everything was great and the diet would be exciting and tomorrow I would have energy and, oh, I LOVE bed! (lie ~ this year, bed has become all things bad) Also, the temperature dipped last night and my room was much colder than usual (which is typically not a good thing for me because I get chilled and my head and ears get cold. Back in January, when this sickness started in earnest, I would wear a woolly cap to bed every night, as well as have the electric heater on, as well as cuddle a hot water bottle. I’m going to invest in an electric blanket this winter). I don’t know what, if anything, helped me get more sleep, but I want to track it. I know if I just popped a bigger, better painkiller and a muscle relaxer, I would sleep much better, but I still refuse. It freaks me out. If I stop the LDN, maybe I will try other options, but, for now, one drug at a time, sweet jesus.

Today, I am stiff and achy, of course. My eyes are VERY swollen. I am going to chalk that up to sleeping longer and maybe a bit deeper and pretend it is a good thing. My hands still hurt and are swollen and the left thumb is still one raw nerve. Oh, I keep forgetting to tell you about this one crazy side effect I’ve been having at night since starting the LDN. I wake up in the night from a light in my eyes, but, when I open them, the room is black. This keeps happening! From behind closed eyes, I think someone has opened the blind or something, but when I come fully awake and open my eyes: darkness. Bizarre. Also, LDN seems to be affecting my skin ~ I have a bit of a break out on my chest (never happens) and face.

Yesterday, I did make it to the dog park, but not the pharmacy or the grocery store. I was just so wasted and the weather was crappy. So, I haven’t started the diet or the supplements yet. I’m having my tea with milk and splenda and savouring every sip. The Good Doctor dropped another bombshell about my diet late last night via email: NO BEANS. That means NO PEANUT BUTTER, NO HUMMUS. That kills me. Hummus can replace so much ~ eat it with veg to feel more full, put in on sandwiches (or, in my case, lettuce wraps. Yum), baked hummus chicken is good… But peanut butter I will truly mourn. Peanuts are my go-to food. She also said it is essential to have no refined sugar. That made me want to punch her in the face. If you ever read this, Good Doctor, I don’t really mean that. I don’t want to hurt you, you are my only hope, but I am just so overwhelmed by what I have to do, what I can’t do, how NOT easy eating is going to be.

I’ll start the diet tomorrow. I promise. I’ll go shopping today. I’ll have to make homemade soups. Lots of homemade soups, salads, nuts for snacks and … what about breakfast? I still feel discouraged about breakfast. I’ll have to develop a liking for the fake yogurts made with soy or coconut milk. I could add fruit and crumbled Lara Bar and pretend it’s granola or muesli. Then, to stop my blood sugar dropping, eat a bunch of almonds. This is going to fun. You are going to feel great.

Have I mentioned my blood sugar? If I have, forgive me ~ no memory. I have reactive hypoglycemia. I can fast for 10 hours and my sugar is fine, but, as soon as I eat breakfast, I have to watch out. An hour or two later (depending on what I had to eat), my BS plummets. I usually catch it in the 60s and 70s, once I start to feel the shakes. Last week, it was 58. The week before it was 43. That’s low. Way too low. It had an effect on my whole day. So, now I am trying to be very mindful of what I eat in the mornings.