Yesterday, in the afternoon, I felt much better. I cleaned my room, did laundry, played with the dogs. My temperature regulation was all over the place the whole day. Hot flashes and chills. I went for short visits to the hot tub numerous times to get my temperature up (yes, it’s August). The hot tub might have been the best purchase of my life. I never realised when I bought it how important it would become to my healthcare regime. Deep bone chills are one of my most debilitating symptoms.

I took the LDN again last night at 9:30pm. This night went a lot better. I had a tight chest and a bit of a drugged feeling, but nothing like the first night. I also had weird cramps in my calves. I went to bed around midnight and didn’t have a good night’s sleep. I have not had drenching night sweats in about three weeks (thank god), but last night I had some sweats ~ not terribly drenching, just my face and neck. I actually felt cold most of the night and kept putting the duvet over my head. I also felt like I was awake the whole night. It seemed as if I were floating in an ocean, with the water just covering my body and face and every few minutes I would break the surface of sleep and be aware of what was going on in the room. All I want is to sink deeply into that ocean of sleep. That’s all I’ve ever wanted my whole life ~ to be able to sleep deeply, not be woken up by every twitch and sound, not be on high-alert in my dreams so I can make sure I’m ready if something happens… wake up rested. Most people would take a sleeping pill or an anti-anxiety, but, that’s something else you’ll learn about me ~ I don’t take drugs if I can possibly help it. I have to be in a pretty big crisis to give in and take a pill. I woke up at 5am starving. I made myself go back to sleep for a little bit (or, more accurately, lie in bed for two hours trying to get to sleep, reading etc.), but hunger forced me to get up. Interesting side effect. In the end, I only got 6 hours sleep. 11 hours in two nights is not enough for me and I am feeling the effects. I am very tired, muscles are achy, my back is sore. This morning, as I write this, my temperature is still all over the place. I got out of bed chilly, but, minutes later, I got so hot I had to take off layers of clothes

But, I am elated that I didn’t have a serious reaction to the LDN last night. That’s good news. I’m going to the CFS clinic this afternoon. I’m sure I’ll feel like it’s a wasted trip. Stay tuned.