Welcome back night sweats, crushing headache, terrible spinal pain, and debilitating exhaustion. I didn’t miss you at all, but you decided to return anyway. Oh, and you brought pulled muscle and despair with you. Excellent! I was wondering if they had perhaps gone for a while, but I guess not ~ just a quick one-and-a-half-day jaunt away. Well good, I almost remembered how to laugh. I almost remembered what it’s like to have a normal conversation without grimacing, deep breathing or being distracted by pain. I almost enjoyed the taste of food. I almost got to have a meal with my family without it being a gargantuan effort to drag myself upright, raise my eyes to meet theirs and hear what they were talking about. Almost. But not quite.
One of the hardest things about this illness is that it “waxes and wanes” as it is said in the definition. You have no control over it. The best thing to do is learn to pace yourself. This will happen with a lot of trial and error, and still you will almost always pay for what you did today…the next day or two or more.. You’re not alone…just remember there are a lot of us with the same illness who understand what you are going through. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, it is not easy.
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