I had a lumbar puncture years ago that didn’t heal properly. That was the worst headache of my life until this week. I can’t explain the pain of the last 5 days. If I had a job, I couldn’t go to it. If I had a child, I couldn’t tend to him/her. Hours upon hours upon hours lying down with a cold cloth over my eyes. Hours of weighing the odds of taking painkillers and the potential for bounce-back headaches and lower pain threshold or just powering through. I haven’t been able to power through at night. The pain has woken me up every night this week. I’ll be drenched in sweat and panting, my head being crushed on one side, my eye coming out of its socket. I’m scared, not gonna lie. It feels like the MRI should have shown a vice around my brain and an icepick through my temple and some dead soft space at the base of my skull and a huge pool of concrete where my forehead should be and one eye twice as big as the other. It still hurts now, so this is just an update and then I’m going back to bed.
To those of you that have called, texted, sent letters, sent presents (yes! Can you believe how lucky I’ve got it?), thank you!!! Your thoughtfulness and words of encouragement mean so much more than anyone can fathom. I truly don’t think I’d be strong enough to do this if not for you all. When this headache goes away, I’ll try to get back in contact with the world.