So this is Christmas…

It’s Christmas Day. I was looking back at my blog archives and saw that in December, 2012 I wrote 13 entries. December, 2013 there are 3 and December, 2014 there are 6. This is actually indicative of how I was doing these years.

In 2012, I had recently become housebound, every evening at around 5pm, my whole body started to hurt in earnest and my headaches were blinding,ย but I still had (most of) my mental faculties and no neuro symptoms anything like what I experience now.

In December 2013, I was so sick… I was in so much pain, isolated on the floor of my bedroom, hour after hour, and feeling suicidal.

Last year, I was in a reactionary whirlwind. Christmas eve, my tongue swelled up and that night was truly one of the worst I’ve experienced.

This year, though… so far… things are better (she says tentatively, knocking on wood). This is only my third post this month, but it’s more to do with my brain not working very well than with being bedbound with sickness. I feel so much more stable this year. I haven’t had one of my bad nocturnal reactions in eight months, I think. I’m handling my immunoglobulin infusions well. I can eat virtually anything. I crash regularly and feel horrific, but bounce back quicker.

Tuesday, Wednesday and yesterday were good days. God, I love being able to say that. I had three good days. My sister, her boyfriend and their dog arrived yesterday and, because I’m such a nightowl these days, I was able to function from 2pm until 2am, retiring to my bedroom a few times to rest. I had no headache! Let me say that again: I HAD NO HEADACHE! Lights and noise weren’t bothering me. I was tired, but no cognitive symptoms. It was a Christmas miracle. This morning I feel hungover, my head aches, my eyes are sore and I’m very tired and dragging. But it’s still early (1pm ๐Ÿ˜‰) and I have faith that this evening I will be okay. I had one wish for this Christmas: no pain and no fear –and I think, besides dull aches and low-level silent pleading, that wish is coming true.

Gratitude is shooting out of my fingers and toes and the ends of my hair like I swallowed George Bailey’s moon.

Update: I forgot to publish this yesterday. It’s now almost midnight on the night of the 26th. This week came down on me like a pile of bricks today. I had a hypoglycemic episode, hit a wall, felt very nauseous, was having trouble talking, went to bed weak, trembling, shaking with chills. BUT– here I am six hours later and, besides being drained, I’m doing okay, able to finish watching It’s a Wonderful Life with my husband, crying at the end like we do every year.

All in all, this Christmas was a success. Great company, great food, great gifts, great-full. In fact, without a doubt, this Christmas was the best I’ve had health-wise since 2010.

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8 thoughts on “So this is Christmas…

  1. Here’s to a New Year too ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. geaux2girl says:

    Yay for the good days! I remember how frightened we all were for you last year. What a change! Praying 2016 is your best year since becoming and sick and you become consumed with living life again! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, Geaux2 girl, thank you for caring. This year is worse in a lot of ways, but SOOO much better in others. Yes, 2016 will be a year that gives even more healing to both of us. To ALL of us. ๐Ÿ’—

      Like

  3. mom says:

    I am so happy your Christmas was the best for years. Love you so much. See you in 2016.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jak says:

    I am *delighted* your Christmas has been the best in ages – that news has made my week ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ I know it’s all still a huge struggle, but just to be able to see people and eat and join in without feeling like you’re dying is brilliant x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Elizabeth, I realized today I hadn’t checked your blog in a while. I hope you are doing well. Reading your last post above, I feel pretty optimistic for your. I hope your 2016 turns out to be a a great year. – Patrick

    Liked by 1 person

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