Need medical detectives to help with my collapses!

I need help from all the smart people here. Any brainstorming and all ideas welcomed.

This morning I had to call the paramedics because I had another “collapsing episode.” Severe abdominal pain triggered low blood pressure and a very low heart rate. I was shaking violently and having trouble breathing, the latter seemed to be caused by the discomfort in my heart. I fought very hard not to lose consciousness. I was covered in cold sweat and my vision was blacking out. But the bradycardia and trouble breathing were the worst. It felt like my heart might just slow to a stop and I would be gone. It lasted for over half an hour — an eternity while panting with my HR in the low 40s when it should have been twice as fast.

The last time this happened, my doctor ordered a heart workup, which showed nothing, really (I’ve put the results below; I don’t really know how to interpret them). What I’m trying to figure out is if there is anything I should look into besides making sure my heart is okay. I’m on BP medication (to raise it), I don’t have POTS (as in, high heart rate)… I am so wiped out today and I can’t believe I just have to ignore these episodes, shrug and move on. What my heart did today was terrifying!

If anyone wants to help me play medical detective, here is the history of these episodes (no other health history included and there was a lot, obviously).

My episodes, as best as I can describe them, are vasovagal syncope. But they’re more complicated than that. It’s not a faint and then BP recovery once I’m supine. Abdominal pain/pressure/inflammation/cramping/spasm = BP and HR crash.

The first one I remember was in 2005 on the first day of my period. I used to have excruciating dysmenorrhea and one month it caused a collapse — on the bathroom floor, cold sweats, shakes, vision blacking out, very low BP. Went to the emergency room, got IV fluids.

This continued to happen once or twice a year until 2011 — and I can’t predict which months or why. It has happened when my period had nothing to do with it, but it was triggered by my bowels. I have had constipation my whole life, the last time I ever took a laxative was in 2008. The pressure/cramping caused the same low blood pressure, near-loss of consciousness result. My best friend held me up on the toilet while firemen filled my bathroom. As soon as my bowels moved and the pressure released, I recovered.

The only time I remember it not having anything to do with abdominal pain was one of the worst times. I spiked a fever and then collapsed on the front steps to my house and the medics couldn’t get a blood pressure reading at all. Went to the ER, got IV fluids.

I need to mention that all of this was pre-ME. An odd thing happened after ME destroyed my life in 2011– the dysmenorrhea stopped. I went 3 years without a collapsing episode, then had a random one in 2014 and not again until last year, once in February from random severe period cramps on the first day of menstruation (I think it might have been a burst ovarian cyst since it was so out of the norm) and once in July from a massive acute bowel spasm that was about a 9 on my pain scale.

(I should also mention that every time I went into full-blown anaphylaxis was at the start of my period. That started in 2001, four years before the collapses.)

The difference between these recent episodes (last year’s and today’s) and the pre-ME ones is it seems to be more about my heart and less about my BP. Both are low, but my BP isn’t scary-low (scary to EMTs, maybe, but not to me). I used to be able to not talk or move because I was so hypotensive, today I made it downstairs to open the door and had more awareness — was monitoring my HR and O2.

The past few days, I had a deep ache in the very bottom of my abdomen. I cannot have bowel movements and am completely enema-dependent with chronic pain and bloating, so I only noticed this pain because it was so low in my belly and deep-feeling. I kept looking for my period, thinking maybe it wasn’t my bowels, but was instead a heavy, achy uterus. When I went to sit up in bed, the pain skyrocketed, maybe my bowel spasmed like last year. I immediately started shaking and sweating, the vagal reaction happened right away. That’s my best guess — trapped gas in my very dysfunctional, SIBO-ridden bowel created pressure, pain and spasm that triggered a vasovagal response. The pain and bradycardia resolved at the same time and so did the shakes and panting, but I’ve been completely wiped out all day. I’m still in a lot of bowel pain now, 12 hours later, but it has moved up to its normal position in the upper abdominal quadrants.

So, any thoughts? With no period involvement, no actual bowel movement, and symptoms so severe that I called 911 (that is literally the SECOND since being sick — 9 years), I can’t believe I just have to ignore it and go on as usual, without answers. I mean, besides the obvious remove my bowel and remove my uterus, but I’m just not there yet.

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Echocardiogram:
There is mild aortic insufficiency. Mild aortic regurgitation is present. There is an eccentric jet of aortic insufficiency directed towards the septum. There is trace mitral regurgitation. Trace tricuspid regurgitation present.

30-day heart monitor:
The vast majority of episodes show normal sinus rhythm without ectopy. Some episodes of dizziness show sinus tachycardia. One PVC and one blocked PAC were observed.

Treatment Update

Today (actually last Thursday, it took me a while to write this), I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Kim to go over the gaggle of blood tests I had done in March. There is a lot that I am adding into my regimen, so I wanted to document it all asap before I forget everything she said.

We’re going to try hyperbaric oxygen therapy! I said it as a joke as we walked past the room with the claustrophobia chamber: “When do I get to dive?” And she thought it was actually a good idea. So, I’m going to start with a very short time (10-15 minutes) and work up to 60 minutes “at depth”, with supplemental oxygen, once a week. This is out-of-pocket, of course, and pricey at $150-$175 per 60-minute session, so I’ll try a few and see how I do.

I am starting a slow treatment for candida with Nystatin, Diflucan and Thorne SF722. Here’s the protocol:
*Nystatin on Mondays and 2 capsules a day of Thorne SF722 Tuesday through Sunday for 3 weeks.
*Then the same thing with Diflucan on Mondays for 3 weeks.
*Then Nysatin Mondays, Diflucan Thursdays and 2 SF722s on the other days for 2 months.
She didn’t mention diet and I didn’t bring it up. Yippee!

I’m increasing oral progesterone to 100mg/day (I’m at 25mg now), staying at 25mg of oral pregnenolone (uh oh, I just realised while adding this link that I’ve been swallowing my pregnenolone whole, not realising it’s sublingual… grreeaaat 😝) and changing from topical DHEA to 25mg oral.

My sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) is high, which she said functionally lowers hormone levels. I’m going to start nettle root capsules (work up to 300mg twice a day) to bring SHBG down (not to be confused with nettle leaf, which I drink in tea every day).

I’m not anemic, but my iron is low. She wants me to add Floridix, but after reviewing the ingredients, I may just do a generic ferrous gluconate supplement for 6 months.

For sleep:
*5HTP, 75-150 mg at night (this was recommended by a friend–thank you, M–and Dr. Kim thought it was worth a shot). She says it may even interact with the 5HT4 receptors in my GI tract and help motility. 30-50 mg P5P (active vitamin B6) should be taken with 5HTP.
*Dr. Yasko recommended I get my lithium tested (she answered a quick question on Facebook, I’m not working with her) and Dr. Kim thought I could try supplementing a 20-40 mg per day without a test and see if it helps.
*Belsomra, a prescription sleep medication given to me by my sleep doctor, is still sitting on my shelf a year later and I intend to take a small nibble one of these days. It doesn’t interact with 5HTP, so I can try all the things.

For constipation, I am going to try MotilPro (work up to 3 capsules morning and noon) and a bit of iodine in the form of potassium iodide (5-20 mg 4 times per week).

She said my vitamin D at 40.4 ng/mL is actually fine and I should continue taking 4,000iu/day (I take Thorne liquid D3+K2). She bases this on my calcitriol (vitamin D 1,25) number, which is good at 48.2pg/mL, right in the middle of the range.

She’s not worried about my high cholesterol or LDL at all, so I’m going to shake off my concern about that and trust her.

She said not to worry about an Igenex lyme test or my positive bartonella test for now. She is going to treat my high mycoplasma pneumoniae eventually and she said that treatment is similar to what she’d do for tick-borne infections. I have to say, I kind of like that a reputable LLND isn’t jumping straight into Lyme testing and treatment. She’s definitely not a one-trick pony.

I’ll start antimicrobials for M. pneumoniae, CMV, HHV6 and EBV later this year when my body is stronger. She thinks it will most likely take at least 2 years to get those blood tests into the normal ranges (to the point where my immune system isn’t mounting a response against reactivated infections).

Other supplements* and prescriptions I currently take, many sporadically:

MitoCore
CoQ10/ubiquinol
Humic Acid
Thorne Trace Minerals
Thorne Riboflavin-5-phosphate
Thorne Niacel
Thorne vitamin D3+K2
Thorne B complex #6
Magnesium malate
Magnesium glycinate
Jigsaw magnesium
Potassium gluconate
Biotin
Thiamin
Vitamin A
Vitamin C
Wormwood
HCL + gentian + pepsin
Enzymedica Digest Basic
Enzymedica Digest Spectrum
Charcoal
Levothyroxine (100mcg/day)
Liothyronine (15mcg twice/day)
Prednisone (3mg), Benadryl (25mg), Zantac (10mg), fluids (sodium chloride 0.9%, 1 liter) and Gamunex-C (5g) during infusions.

*By the way, all the supplement links here are for Pure Formulas (and all brands are gluten-free, soy-free and well-regarded). I am not affiliated with them in any way and I can’t get kick-backs if you buy something from these links like lots of bloggers that make money that way (although, maybe I should look into that!). I’ve just done a lot of research and they are consistently the best for me. If you decide to order from them and you want to be a kind and selfless friend, you can use my referral code: RRKMLW or shop here. Once you complete an order (without using any of your own reward points), I get a $10 credit. 😀 I like Pure Formulas because a) free shipping with no minimum; b) 2-day shipping always if you have ShopRunner, which I do through my AmEx; c) you earn cash credits for your orders; d) you can return products you have problems with, even if opened; and e) I have contacted many supplement manufacturers to ask about recommended online retailers (because I’ve read some scary articles about knock-off supplements on Amazon) and almost all of them have told me Pure Formulas is reputable. Last thought: if you comment below with your Pure Formulas referral code I will use one whenever I order (which is often).

The Gods Are Smirking

The chronic illness gods did not take kindly to my advertising their kindness and flaunting my good sleep luck.

After writing my last post, I had two tossy-turny not-restful nights that left me depleted and suffering brain drag.

THEN, the next night, my husband closed my blinds and curtains, but failed to notice that one window was wide open, so I was woken by planes, trains and automobiles at daylight. Plus, wind punching the closed blind in and out set up a sort of strobe light effect in my room.

THEN, the very next day, my husband untaped one of my curtains (they’re taped to the wall to block out every sliver of light) in order to fix something, but forgot to tape it back up, so I was woken at daybreak again by the bright line of sunlight on the wall.

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THEN, we had some glorious weather and I sat for hours in the sun for the first time in 7 months and the burn on my back made sleep very difficult for two nights in a row. Every time I rolled onto my back or the blanket slid along my skin, I woke up.

THEN my painful spasming bowels and extreme swollen distension from constipation gave me no rest for two nights. Like sleeping with concrete pumped into your gut.

AND it all culminated in a terrible 7-hour drenching-sweats-and-night-terrors sickness last night. I woke up over and over soaked from my forehead to my toes and finally, at 7am, I woke myself sobbing. I’d just held my dying dog in my arms while I begged someone to help. He had two bloody stumps for front legs and half his face was gone and nobody in the crowded room was helping (people’s lack of competence figures prominently in my nightmares. I think my loss of independence has shaken me to the core). My entire system felt as if I had just gone through that. I heard myself wailing before I was even conscious of where I was and I had called my dogs into my bed before I was fully awake, holding them, crying.

Such is this dis-ease.

I stayed in bed until 5pm, feeling wasted and shaky, and only dragged myself up so my husband could wash my bed clothes. I really hoped the poisoned nights were behind me (it’s been 3 months since the last one) and I have a different theory every time. This time I think it must be my body detoxing whatever my bowels can’t. I have that new sleep drug, Belsomra, but I really don’t want to mess with drugs when things have been going so well. So, fingers crossed the gods are a bit thick and this post makes them think, “Oh, you’re going to speak of your bad nights? We’ll put an end to that!”

Two More One Offs

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Doctors, for me, are like one-night stands, only not at night and not fun. I meet them to scratch an itch, to see if maybe this person, with their unique knowledge and background might offer me something different… Trying not to have expectations, but, always, this dim hope flickering in the back of my mind that maybe this will be The One.

I didn’t see the neuro-opthalmalogist for 16 months after I was first given his name. I knew it was a silly referral and would be a waste of time, but I kept having niggling thoughts: What if they find something? You have neurological symptoms, after all. What if the problems with your eyes shouldn’t be dismissed just because there are bigger problems? What if this is thyroid eye disease? You won’t have good insurance forever. Maybe there was a reason you were referred to this doctor. Maybe it’s meant to be. Leave no stone unturned.

So, I finally made the appointment and waited 3 months to be seen.

I was in the clinic for 2 full hours. He was with me for 9 full minutes and spoke 5 full sentences. He thinks I have dry eyes.

Although I’ve been given the yellow ophthalmology eye drops twice before, this time I had a reaction to them, my throat and sinuses swelled up while I blew and coughed neon yellow all over a paper towel.

The doctor had never heard of that happening.
Of course not.
The doctor thinks, if I’m having a reaction, I should go to the emergency room.
Of course he does.

6 full hours later, I still can’t see properly from the drops they used to dilate my pupils and I feel like I was hit by a truck for no good reason.

——————————–

3 months waiting for an appointment with the fancy gastroenterologist at the University of Washington Medical Center Digestive Diseases Clinic, an hour waiting in the exam room and another hour telling my sordid bowel history and what was the recommendation?

… Wait for it…

Eat prunes and papayas and take Miralax.

Are you kidding me? Another one bites the dust.

Will someone please stop me from continuing this relentless search?

I should just stop and smell the flowers, instead.

New in the garden. Finally!

New in the garden. Finally!

March Update

I haven’t done an update in forever and it’s a shame because I look back on my updates a lot to see how I was in the past and compare it to how I am now. It looks like I’m at about the same level of functioning as I was at this time last year. A little worse, unfortunately. Last year, I was walking more steps, had been out in the garden more, was driving a bit (I drove to an appointment this week for the first time in forever, so there is some progress).

I’m still trying to regain some ground after the onslaught of nocturnal mast cell/viral/ME/inflammatory bowel reactions that started in September when I tried Cromolyn. Thanksgiving and Christmas were probably the two sickest nights of my life. As soon as I was resurfacing from Christmas, I got hit by another one on January 12th. As soon as I was feeling recovered from that, I had another one on January 28th and then again on the 31st. I stopped everything, including writing. For three weeks, I laid low and tried to reset my body. My constipation had become severe, so I had been taking massive doses of various different kinds of magnesium and I was afraid this was contributing to the episodes because there always seems to be some sort of bowel inflammation component involved (I get aches and what feels like electric pins and needles in my bowels and my flanks when I’m very constipated). When I quit magnesium, the constipation became critical — and a bit comical with the size of my protruding belly. I’m so uncomfortable, I wake up in the night when I roll over onto the poop baby inside of me. Where do the other organs go? I’m not sure how I continue to eat and I’m not sure why I continue to eat. You’d think at some stage I would just give my gut a break and eat liquid food, but I’m always hungry. I tried Triphala, Gentian, Medibulk, digestive enzymes, massage, enemas, prunes, oatmeal, even my old standby Wormwood stopped working. Which led me to the glycerine suppository on Oscar night which caused the (anaphylactic?) collapse on the bathroom floor. So, tonight I’ll be taking the generic polyethylene glycol (Miralax/Movical) that I have been avoiding because, if it’s too harsh, it’ll trigger a vasovagal reaction and I could pass out or, if it’s mild cramping, it’ll keep me up in the night. Not to mention it’s a nasty drug and probably made in China. But enough about that…

My father was visiting when the suppository episode happened and, a few days after he left, my mother came. That’s it from Christmas until now. That is my 2015. One quarter of a year summed up: reaction-recovery-reaction-recovery-reaction-recovery-reaction-recovery-visitor-visitor. Thank god for the visitors because the rest is really depressing. My friend M recently said that he fears not seeing those he loves ever again and, as we get older, that concern becomes more and more pressing. I think this all the time with my parents living so far away. Their visits allowed me to breathe easier. They filled me up with sustenance and gave me a little more mettle to carry on. I am incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and loving family. Recently, Jen Brea asked the ME community to post the most compassionate word or giving act ever received in relation to our illness (a very moving thread) and all I could think was, my family, my siblings, my parents, my best friends… their messages, words of encouragement, interest in learning about ME, physical help, monetary help, emotional help… Where would I be without them?

Both visits were wonderful and were needed more than I realised. My mother helped me with a hundred tasks I haven’t been able to accomplish and I got to hear all about my brothers and nieces and nephews, whom she had just visited. We managed to drive to the beach dog park twice: first, with my father and sister and, again, with my mother. It has been glorious weather in Seattle and getting out of the house is always the highlight of my months.

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Yay! Beach!

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Damn, he’s a fine looking dog. ❤

The one downside was, my husband wasn’t with us the first time, so I was without his deafening whistle and another set of eyes on our smaller dog, Riley, the escape artist. He ran around the rocks at the edge of the park and took off, causing me to expend more energy than I have in many months. I stood calling at the top of my lungs, over and over, “RILEY, COME!” and then started to panic when he didn’t reappear. At the top of my lungs and panic are not things that go well with ME. My voice is not strong, but, man, when my child went missing, nothing was going to stop me yelling for him. This is a dog that is only ours because he ran away from some other home and was found in a house barn, emaciated and unable to stand up. He’s an adventurer and curious about everything, while Bowie sticks to me like glue.

When Riley finally came into view, he was up in the car park and I sprinted up the sand embankment to the fence. Sprinted and up don’t happen in my world, either. Riley looked scared. He couldn’t tell where my voice was coming from and I was worried he’d run in front of a car or disappear, never to be found. He was tearing back and forth outside the park and I was calling over and over. He finally found me and I grabbed the scruff of his neck through the fence and sat down in the sand, waiting for rescue. My 72-year old Dad clambered up the rocks (cutting his shins in the process) and got Riley on a leash. I was half catatonic on the way home, like a rag with all the water twisted out of it. I crawled to bed, but, once again, bounced back quicker than I anticipated. And it was worth it. Mount Rainier on the drive home, through my glazed eyeballs, was spectacular. My Dad said it looked like a painting of Mount Fuji.

So, what else can I tell you about the last 3 or 4 months? I haven’t really taken any supplements this whole year so far. A few here and there, but, after every big episode, I would stop everything and go back to baseline. In the last week, I have been taking trace minerals, Vitamin D, K2 and fish oil again. I’m also still on topical DHEA and progesterone and just added topical pregnenolone and I’m about to add oral progesterone. It makes me nervous using bioidentical hormones, but they don’t seem to cause a reaction and both of my NDs recommend them, so I’m going with it. Apparently, there is evidence that DHEA+pregnenolone can reduce reactivity, so the goal is to take those for a while, then try IV fluids, then try sub-cutaneous IG and maybe even make my way to IVIG one day. I’ve been trying to get there since seeing Dr. Chia 7 months ago, so who knows how long it’ll take. I’m also still on the compounded thyroid hormones. All these compounded meds are costing me a fortune, though, and are not covered by insurance. One of these days, I’ll have to call this experiment quits and go back to my generic, dye-filled, filler-filled drugs. That’s it for what I’m taking. The Equilibrant, Nystatin, Hydroxyzine, Tramadol and Singulair are all languishing in the cupboard, unopened.

I had a few blood tests done in January. The big shock is that my cholesterol is sky high. Total cholesterol is 310, LDL is 194, Apo B is 124 (ideally <109) and LDL-P (particles) is 1755 (ideally <1000). There could be many reasons for this: my continuing low thyroid, my chronic and reactivated infections (coxsackie, HHV6, EBV, varicella, candida, mycoplasma pneumoniae), leaky gut and inflammation, genetics (both of my parents have high cholesterol) or something to do with my insulin/hypoglycemia issues. But, I actually think it is mostly to do with my diet. Over a year ago, I started an elimination diet for autoimmune conditions (AIP), plus cut out most high-histamine foods (fish, shellfish and avocado etc.). I cut out oats (I had already eliminated all other grains except rice), legumes, nuts and seeds, but continued to eat white rice (and rice cakes, rice pasta etc.). After about 4 months, I began eating a lot of ghee, butter and bone broth. I had my cholesterol checked in 2013 and it was fine, as it had been my whole life. In mid-2014, it had started to crawl up and, 9 months later, it’s now a pretty big problem. I’m pretty sure it was my inadvertent reduction in soluble and insoluble fiber (especially the former), plus the changes in the type of fat I was eating that caused the lipid problem.

Other January blood tests of note: low DHEA and testosterone (still), low insulin, high homocysteine (still) and my T3 and T4 are low (STILL). Don’t tell Dr. Erin, but I’m going to increase my liothyronine myself because these teeny incremental changes are just taking too long to fix my levels. Nothing seems to get better and more abnormalities keep emerging.

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I’m averaging about 1,400 steps a day and 6 hours sleep a night. When I do sleep, my sleep has been better. I just put it together now that this might be because of the progesterone supplementation, which is meant to help restful sleep. Wow, I finally made a correlation. I still can’t wear the CPAP without all hell breaking lose and the oral appliance still wrecks my jaw, but I’m managing to get a solid 5 hours most nights, with another 1-3 tossy turny hours. I have my third sleep study tomorrow to see if the OA is helping the apnea at all. My other sleep issues (pain, night terrors, constant movement and muscle spasms, awakenings post-REM sleep) are still unresolved since I haven’t been able to tolerate the drugs offered.

My headaches have also been a bit better, maybe because I backed off the salt ever so slightly. I get doozies a few times a week, but I noticed that I didn’t really have a headache the whole time my father was here. My salt loading wasn’t helping my blood pressure at all, so I might need to be medicated.

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My throat spot hasn’t been itchy in a while and I think the electric shocks in my left leg have been fewer and farther between.

I stopped using the Restasis after 4 months to see if I noticed any difference and I think my eyes have been worse since stopping, but I don’t know if they’re worse enough to justify a Rx.

Sore glands in my neck, crazy tinnitus, swollen sinuses are all continuous low-key issues lately. I started taking 5-6ml of liquid Zyrtec again a few weeks ago on a whim in case anything was seasonal allergy-related. As usual, I can’t really tell anything positive or negative.

My blood sugar seems better. This could be because I’ve diversified my diet (added back many nuts, seeds, oats, goat cheese, milk, potato, corn, chickpeas) and it also helps that my new endocrinologist explained that the danger lies more in how fast my blood sugar is dropping than how low it is. This was great to hear because I have experienced those sugar crashes where it can wind up in the 40s, but I was always nervous, if, when I was going to sleep, it was 73 or something, that it would continue to plummet in the night. She reassured me that, if I don’t feel the tell-tale shakes, it’s probably ok and I don’t need to eat. Having said all that, I got out of bed this morning needing to eat right away because I was shaky and it was 63, so it’s still a delicate dance. [<~ And, after I wrote that, I had a big blood sugar crash on my way out the door to PT because I didn’t eat meat for breakfast. I had to go back inside and cook a mound of lamb and a yuca cake and eat it in the car on the way there. I was 15 minutes late. I guess hypoglycemia isn’t really any better. Gah!]

My buzzy brain and neuro symptoms are definitely still here, always incapacitating when they hit, always signalling that I need to go to bed and power down. And I’m still stiff, inflexible, pulling muscles regularly, in some pain and pretty weak. My lower back has been a major issue recently and my husband bought me a back brace that I have to wear when I’m standing in the kitchen or I’m crippled.

My mood is fine unless I’m really sick or in a lot of pain and then I’m a scared, desperate caged animal, feeling like I can’t go on another minute. When I’m really sick in bed, feeling fluish, poisoned, inflamed and broken, the dark mental cloud descends and obliterates all hope and even the very rational thought that this will ease up. I don’t forget that it has eased up in the past – seemingly, it would be easy to reassure myself that it will again, but I can’t. It’s the knowledge that I couldn’t continue living if it didn’t ease up that causes the black blanket of fear.

But enough about that…

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The last time I was out on the scooter.

The bad news is, my scooter died at the end of December. It was my one lifeline to freedom and, although I only got out on it for about an hour each month, I lived for that hour. So, I have to figure out a way to get another. The best case scenario would be one that I could lift into my car myself. The cemetery is only a few blocks away and, ideally, I’d like to go for little outings without needing my husband and his truck, since he’s not home very much. I’m also thinking about the future when I have a smaller dog and will, I hope, have the strength to walk him on a leash using the scooter. Not sure there are any scooters that disassemble to light enough parts or that I would have the energy to put in the car, drive, take out and assemble, ride around for a bit, take apart and put back in the car, drive home, take out of the car again… Now that I see that in print, it seems a Herculean and impossible task. Plus, we can’t really afford one, anyway, when we spend more than we bring in every month. When we win the lotto, we can buy a scooter and a transport van that it can drive into. Or maybe I’ll just get better.

The good news is, everything is blooming and the smells in the garden are incredible. 🙂

This took me over a week to write, so apologies if it’s disjointed. Until next time… XO

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