Tag Archives: symptoms

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LDN Day 13… Sleep & Sun might cure everything.

Maybe the low-dose naltrexone has helped a little… I’m still very hesitant to say that with certainty because I don’t feel much different except my nights are better and that helps everything. The good news is, I slept over 8 hours last night with no night sweats. I have never, ever had such a string of good nights. Please, universe, help me to keep this going. The only downside is my thrashing about and crazy dreams and the number of times I wake up. I feel very achy this morning, very tired, headachy and swollen. I want to feel refreshed. Does that actually happen? Do people really wake up feeling refreshed? Who?? I want to know what their job is, what their home life is like, how rich they are, how many kids they have,  how old they are… I just don’t believe it. But, if I keep up my routine, maybe one day I can let you all know that it is possible to get out of bed not in pain, not stiff, not dizzy and swollen and achy. Maybe one day I will write that book. For now, my rules are: read a book before bed ~ not an ipad, make the room very, very dark, make sure the room isn’t too cold, kick the husband out if he snores, wash the sheets weekly, and don’t do anything that might disrupt anything in the night. Everything that can cause night sweats and loss of sleep, will. That’s why I’ve been taking Miralax in the morning when I’m sure most people take it at night (by the way, it hasn’t worked yet). The less my body is doing at night, the better I sleep and the less likely I’ll have the sickly sweats. That goes for my brain, my stomach, my bowels ~ everything needs calm and quiet.

When my drenching night sweats started out of the blue last November, the first thing the doctors told me was to stop all medication. I thought it was interesting and maybe this will help someone out there. I stopped taking hydrocodone/acetaminophen for my neck, I stopped taking liquid calcium/magnesium at night, I stopped the birth control pill for almost two months, I even stopped eating gluten. Now, none of these things worked for me, but it might work for someone else. My endocrinologist said, it doesn’t matter how long you have been taking a medication, it can turn on your body at any time and it should be the first thing you eliminate if you have an odd new symptom.

I didn’t do much yesterday. I made it to the dog park and tried to make myself walk faster than usual, so that could be why I’m feeling more achy today. I think it’s time to try some light muscle exercises. I’m scared of the repercussions, but I can’t go on atrophying this way. I’m thinking, some soup-can-arm-curls are in order. If I can’t eat my pea soup/ veg soup/ cream of anything soup, I might as well use them as weights.

We’ll see. My Dad comes for a visit this weekend and I may just decide to leave well enough alone today. Don’t rock the boat. Save your energy, don’t try anything new. I do have to wash the dogs today and I have a lunch date with a friend and, if I have the energy, I’d love to get to the dog park, too. So… we’ll see.

I meant to start signing off with something I’m grateful for ~ my version of a gratitude journal, to keep things in perspective. Today, I am grateful for sun. Every day that there is sun, I feel better. I’m very scared of the impending winter. But, my therapist says I must stop the future thinking, so, for now, thank you, Sun!

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LDN Day 11… Thoughts on long-term illness.

Well, the Miralax didn’t work (called Movicol, I believe, in Ireland and the UK), so I took it again this morning. I’m pretty sure the constipation has nothing to do with the low-dose naltrexone. I think it’s from the radical change in my diet and all the supplement pills.

The good news is that yesterday was okay even after the activity of the day before. There were two bad spells: in the afternoon I was feeling very low, very lonely, very sorry for myself. Being home alone is very isolating when you feel like you can’t physically accomplish all the things you wished you could not work in order to do. Did that sentence make sense? I spent years wishing for an extended period of time off of work! I would do yoga and paint our rooms and read 100 books I’ve been meaning to read. I would have movie marathons all day, I would meet friends for lunch, learn to cook, learn Spanish, hike in the beautiful mountains with the dogs… I had to leave my job in May due to this evil illness and I haven’t done any of those things. I haven’t turned on the tv once during the day. I tried gentle yoga a few times before I realised the degree of my muscle atrophy and managed to injure myself repeatedly. I have met people for lunch a few times, but have always been laid up the next day, useless. I’m not sure where the days go, honestly. I used to work an average of 50 hours a week: during the slow months, 45 hours/week, during the busy months, I’ve worked 70+. Now, I am on the computer in the morning for a bit, I do laundry, I tidy up, I meditate, I try to get to the dog park and then it’s the evening. I don’t even talk to anyone on the phone because I don’t really want to talk about me and I don’t want them to ask. Yeah, yeah, same old, same old, how are YOU? The problem is, I don’t want them not to ask, either, because then I feel like I’ve been left to die. I know that’s morbid. It’s just interesting what I’m learning about myself through all of this.

The best I’ve felt in the past nine months was when my best friend came to visit from Ireland. She was a distraction and a counselor. She was full of energy and positivity. We talked about my situation, but so many other things, too. I guess I feel better when I’m not left alone with this spectre and I’m able to talk about different tactics going forward ~ in an analytical way, almost, as if it is obvious I am going to conquer this, I just have to find the right weapon. I expend a lot of energy trying not to lose hope and not be depressed and, yes, not be suicidal, so it’s nice to know that there are friends and family who understand, are sympathetic, but know that things will get better. Or pretend to. The first time I met the Good Doctor, she said, “Let me hold on to hope for you for a while. I know you will get better, so, if you lose all hope, just know that I am holding onto it for you.”

Anyway, yesterday there were two bad spells: the low, lonely moment in the afternoon and the flu in the evening. For about two hours, I was convinced once again that I was catching a cold: sore throat, headache, muscle aches, ear and nose issues. But nothing has changed this morning. I was in bed from 10pm to 10am, up repeatedly, crazy dreams, waking with my hands gripping the sheets in fists, jaw clamped down painfully… BUT, I managed to get 8 hours sleep during those 12 hours. That’s fantastic, I just have to learn to do that in less time.

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LDN Day 10…grasping at straws??

Yesterday, I tried to ever so gently push myself. I went to my sister’s place to visit her puppy, but was very careful about minimal exertion. My friend came to meet me there for a coffee and we had a mellow chat and I got to visit with her baby (a sweet, innocent, happy, smiley, perfect-skinned, perfect-immune-systemed, beautiful wee cherub, with no phobias, anxiety, depression, fears… I just want to protect her!). Again, minimal exertion with the visit. I came home, meditated/drifted off to sleep for 45 minutes, then forced myself to the dog park. I was careful again ~ walked slowly, frequent rest breaks. When I got home, I was achy and my muscles were buzzing, but I wasn’t a drooling, slurring puddle on the couch, so that’s good! I even threw together some soup. I sat in the hot tub and used my TENS unit (not at the same time). I had a bad sore throat and a headache in the evening and I felt like I was getting a cold (shocker). My left ear was bugging me and my nose was alternating between stuffy and runny. The nausea and pressure from constipation were causing problems (see my “Diet Day 3” post), but, I was really hoping I would sleep long and hard. No such luck. 11 hours in bed produced 7 hours of sleep. I was waking constantly, uncomfortable, in pain. Tonight, I might try to take a painkiller closer to bed time.

The best BEST BEST news of the last few nights? No drenching, shaky, feverish, malarial night sweats! If I’m feeling at all stronger, it’s because of no night sweats and a bit more sleep. I don’t think it’s the LDN causing the change ~ the night sweats had eased up the week before I started LDN. As far as I can tell, LDN = weight gain + trouble sleeping. And that’s about it.

This morning, I am not as muscle fatigued as I thought I would be. “Fatigued” is a useless word to describe it. When I crash, I have zero muscle strength and extreme muscle pain. It feels like all of my muscles have been pumped full of lead to the point of bursting. They ache, they’re difficult to move, when I do move, they may pull/sprain without warning. This is from the base of my skull to my feet. Awful. I’m feeling it today, but not to the normal degree after an active day like yesterday. I took some Miralax today. I’ve never taken it before, so I only took a half dose, but I’m hoping for some help. My IBS problems have a tendency to cause vasovagal syncope. I’ve collapsed with very low blood pressure and pulse and wound up in the emergency room five times. I’m praying there will be no cramping or pressure from the Miralax. My bff says it’s gentle ~ she takes it daily.

I’ll give you an update later.

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Diet Day 3… IBS hell.

Not sure where I’m going to dredge up the willpower to keep this diet going. Wait, I do… I’m sick, I want to feel better, I’d do anything. But, oof, this is godawful. I am so bloated, uncomfortabe and nauseous. I’m doing those pregnant-lady-in-labour breathing exercises to stop from vomiting. My IBS is not a fan of all these new foods, supplements and drugs. I won’t give you the grisly details.

So, today for breakfast I tried to “bake” some apple bread. For details, see my previous post crying for help. It went in the bin. Then I made a smoothie with a green banana and not-ripe strawberries. It wasn’t very good, so I added chocolate almond milk. It still wasn’t very good, but I drank it so I could take my pills. My cherries had turned moldy; they went in the bin.

I was hungry and shaky from low blood sugar while at my sister’s house, so lunch was a tin of tuna on romaine lettuce. Yep, that’s it. No mayo, no nothing. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do when a girl’s hungry.

Snacks were pistachios (more nuts) and beet chips (weird) and dried apple slices (rubbery).

For dinner I made a soup that was instant, but tasted like it simmered all day (ish). Kitchen Basics chicken broth simmered with cauliflower, broccoli, leftover cabbage, leftover chicken breast, leftover onion and some spices.

What I really want is some saltines. Or toast with peanut butter.

Have I mentioned I’ve gained 8 pounds in the last few weeks? I think that might be the LDN. But I’m pretty sure the constipation and nausea is the new diet and supplement plan. Hang in there, guts!

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LDN Day 9… Just need the GOOD to kick in.

Last night, I got 8 hours sleep, thank goodness. But, I was in bed for 11 hours to achieve that because I wake up constantly throughout the night. I thrash about, grind my teeth, tense all my muscles, tweak my neck etc. But, I am thrilled with 8 hours, so I’m not complaining.

This morning things are much the same as every morning: swollen eyes, sore hands, stiff, immobile muscles. I am still having an acne breakout and constipation, which is getting frustrating.

And, just my luck: one of the stool sample vials was compromised (looked like the formaldehyde had leaked in transit), so I have to do the whole thing all over again. They’re sending me a new kit. Aahh!

Today I have two things on my calendar: going to visit my sister’s puppy and coffee with a friend. Normally, I wouldn’t be able to move tomorrow, so this will be a test to see if the LDN is doing anything for my stamina or muscle strength at all. Unfortunately, I highly doubt it. I feel no different. I seem to be the only story on the internet about LDN that does not proclaim it to be a miracle cure. Typical with my body. I want my miracle cure, dammit!