Lilac Wine

It’s ten in the morning and I’m sitting cross-legged and barefoot at our garden table in the warm sun, wearing a skimpy summer dress. My husband has created an oasis in the middle of the city. There is a fountain gurgling methodically and bird song all around me. I can hear children playing in the school yard a few blocks away and, every hour, the church bells chime the time. I close my eyes and I could be in Italy or France. I hear no airplanes or traffic. I’m sitting under a tall birch tree in April and, although I’m allergic, I’m having no problems. Lilac bows its scent over my head and, although synthetic perfumes now make me wince, I find the lilac’s aroma intoxicating.

If I were healthy again, I would do it all different. I would take the time to notice every bud and leaf, I would revel in meditation and have friends over all the time. I would visit farmers’ markets and experiment with recipes, host dinner parties and enjoy scrumptious desserts. I would take long walks with my dogs and listen to more music. I would never, ever take one minute of health for granted.

Today, I can’t stop smiling. I am outside, my body doesn’t hurt and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m getting stronger, I’m not lonely and the fears of the future have been sizzled away by the sun. We will undoubtedly have to leave this home eventually and, perhaps that will even be a good thing for my health, but, until that day, I will be grateful for the beauty wrapped around me, my family’s health, and for how fortunate I am.

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21 thoughts on “Lilac Wine

  1. :’) I am so pleased, I too love the days when I am well enough to sit in the sunshine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. BONNIE JOHNSON says:

    WHY DO U HAVE TO LEAVE? WE KEEPING WE CAN’T HANDLE THIS BIG YARD BUT EVERY YEAR WE GET IT DONE!! A LOT LESS HARD THAN MOVING, FOR SURE! ONE YEAR AT A TIME. SO GLAD U R FEELING SO WELL–NATURE ALWAYS KNOWS BEST!! GOD BLESS YOU & MAY YOU FEEL HIS PRESENCE! BJ.

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    • E. Milo says:

      Thanks, BJ. We have to leave because we are hemorrhaging money into the mortgage out of our savings. I was the main breadwinner and, without my income, I’m not sure what we’ll be able to afford. 😦

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      • BONNIE JOHNSON says:

        I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. PRICES DROPPED SO MUCH AFTER WE BOUGHT, WE’LL NOT LIKELY EVER GET WHAT WE OWE, SO HAVE TO WALK AWAY FROM IT! HEARTBREAKING. SO HOPE SOMETHING CHANGES TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR U TO STAY–U DON’T NEED THE STRESS OF THIS TOO!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry to hear you may have to leave your home but for now, wishing you continued enjoyment and plenty of sun. xx

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    • E. Milo says:

      Thanks, Marie. If I can figure out any way to have an income, we might be able to stay… but the mortgage is so high, it’d have to be a pretty good income… I’ve gotta write that book!

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      • Love it! Houses.. we need ’em… but they do take buckets of money 😦

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      • E. Milo says:

        The young and healthy are so naive– I just thought I would be able to work and pay this criminal housing-bubble mortgage for the next thirty years! What could stop me? Oh.

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      • Sure it went crazy here too. Prices rose, people thought incomes would only but rise and then smash. Our only saving grace is that we weren’t ready to look during the boom and got our home just as things were on the slide. As the bank manager said to me, two weeks after our mortgage approval, had we asked for the same, we wouldn’t have got it. Luck. Now, its still a struggle, we have to stick by a budget and hope hubby keeps working and keep fingers crossed like you that someday soon I’ll earn a wage.

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      • E. Milo says:

        We were in a bidding war for our house. We wound up paying more than our budget and have two cruel mortgages because I was on a server’s income at the time. A month later, our house was $100k underwater. I didn’t know that could happen. It would have been ok without ME. I didn’t know that could happen either. Fingers crossed that nothing a afflicts our husbands until that time!

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      • O no, so cruel. Within a year of buying our home my husband lost his job and was unemployed for about 6 weeks, now it doesn’t seem like a long time but back then we didn’t know if he would become long term unemployed. Then thankfully he got another job but at a smaller income. Within six months after that my job was cut to three days a week. Then I got back to full time work and we lulled along until ME. Like you, we never thought that would happen. I guess the lesson is… anything can happen.. but I refuse to waste energy on what ifs and keep fingers and toes crossed for both you and me!!

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      • BONNIE JOHNSON says:

        WE TOOK POSSESSION OF OUR HOME IN OCT AT HIGHEST PRICE EVER–WE PAID $100,000.00 MORE THAN THE SELLER HAD! HIGH INTEREST FOR 5 YRS, FINALLY LOWERED! THE NEXT MONTH THE CRASH & WE’VE BEEN STRUGGLING FOR 5 YRS TO HANG ON. TWO OLD FOLKS, WANTING OUR OWN HOME & YARD TO FIX UP, PETS–WHAT WERE WE THINKING?? BUT, I SURE WOULDN’T GO BACK TO THAT WEE APT FOR ANYTHING–WE’LL BE HERE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!! IN AWHILE, ALL OUR FLOWERS & GREEN TREES WILL REMIND ME WHY! SMILE.

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      • E. Milo says:

        Exactly! It’s such a small dream- a plot of land to call your own and live out your days. Let’s hang on for dear life! 🙂

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      • BONNIE JOHNSON says:

        BTW, OUR HOUSE THAT WE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH ON, WE’D NOW HAVE TO LIST AT $40,000 LESS THAN WE PAID! WE’D HAVE TO WALK AWAY FROM IT! OLDER HOUSES HERE HAVE NOT BEEN MOVING AT ALL. IF THEY DO, PEOPLE HAVE LOST A LOT ON THEM. AND WE THINK REAL ESTATE IS A SAFE ”INVESTMENT”! NOT THIS TIME.

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      • E. Milo says:

        That’s exactly where we are at. At least a $40K hit.

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  4. Laurel says:

    Beautiful! So sorry you will have to leave at some point, but happy you could enjoy some time in your sanctuary for now. It looks gorgeous.

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    • E. Milo says:

      Thanks, Laurel! I actually credit you for opening my eyes to appreciating the little things early on. I was busy crying about not being able to see the world and your blog helped me see the world that was right here. X

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  5. kneillbc says:

    I’m so glad you’re able to enjoy your backyard sanctuary. If you do have to leave at some point, that house, too will have something special about it.
    It’s wonderful to hear you so optimistic! I miss being able to sit outside and smell the flowers, your being able to gives me hope! Sounds blissful!

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    • E. Milo says:

      Have hope! Optimism does not come naturally to me, but when my body makes tiny improvements, I get so excited. I’m trying to have faith in the intelligence of the body. That’s a hard one with my brain. Hope your week is going ok. 🙂

      Like

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