Lilac Wine

It’s ten in the morning and I’m sitting cross-legged and barefoot at our garden table in the warm sun, wearing a skimpy summer dress. My husband has created an oasis in the middle of the city. There is a fountain gurgling methodically and bird song all around me. I can hear children playing in the school yard a few blocks away and, every hour, the church bells chime the time. I close my eyes and I could be in Italy or France. I hear no airplanes or traffic. I’m sitting under a tall birch tree in April and, although I’m allergic, I’m having no problems. Lilac bows its scent over my head and, although synthetic perfumes now make me wince, I find the lilac’s aroma intoxicating.

If I were healthy again, I would do it all different. I would take the time to notice every bud and leaf, I would revel in meditation and have friends over all the time. I would visit farmers’ markets and experiment with recipes, host dinner parties and enjoy scrumptious desserts. I would take long walks with my dogs and listen to more music. I would never, ever take one minute of health for granted.

Today, I can’t stop smiling. I am outside, my body doesn’t hurt and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m getting stronger, I’m not lonely and the fears of the future have been sizzled away by the sun. We will undoubtedly have to leave this home eventually and, perhaps that will even be a good thing for my health, but, until that day, I will be grateful for the beauty wrapped around me, my family’s health, and for how fortunate I am.

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A few things I want to note:

First off, the photos from my garden are my effort to “notice the good things”, as my therapist encourages me to do (since I am all-consumed with the badness of ME). So, my blog might be:

…moan…bitch…whinge…
[garden-of-good-things intermission]
…whine…cry…wail…

My husband is a landscaper and has crafted an oasis here in the city. One silver lining from this illness: I have literally stopped to smell the roses (or lilies). In the past, I never took much notice of what he planted where or when. I was too busy working. Who has time to look at plants when there are P&Ls to pour through? Now, every time I take a gander through our garden, something new is happening. Since I am housebound, each new bloom or bud is breaking news. The lives of bugs and birds are my realty shows.

Also, yesterday I realised that there are ads on some of my posts (gasp!). This is WordPress’s way of paying their bills and is not my choice. I can have a “no-ad blog“, but it costs $30/year and I really don’t want to spend the money. However, please let me know if it is really bothersome to your reader experience and I will reconsider that decision. 🙂