Doctors, for me, are like one-night stands, only not at night and not fun. I meet them to scratch an itch, to see if maybe this person, with their unique knowledge and background might offer me something different… Trying not to have expectations, but, always, this dim hope flickering in the back of my mind that maybe this will be The One.
I didn’t see the neuro-opthalmalogist for 16 months after I was first given his name. I knew it was a silly referral and would be a waste of time, but I kept having niggling thoughts: What if they find something? You have neurological symptoms, after all. What if the problems with your eyes shouldn’t be dismissed just because there are bigger problems? What if this is thyroid eye disease? You won’t have good insurance forever. Maybe there was a reason you were referred to this doctor. Maybe it’s meant to be. Leave no stone unturned.
So, I finally made the appointment and waited 3 months to be seen.
I was in the clinic for 2 full hours. He was with me for 9 full minutes and spoke 5 full sentences. He thinks I have dry eyes.
Although I’ve been given the yellow ophthalmology eye drops twice before, this time I had a reaction to them, my throat and sinuses swelled up while I blew and coughed neon yellow all over a paper towel.
The doctor had never heard of that happening.
Of course not.
The doctor thinks, if I’m having a reaction, I should go to the emergency room.
Of course he does.
6 full hours later, I still can’t see properly from the drops they used to dilate my pupils and I feel like I was hit by a truck for no good reason.
3 months waiting for an appointment with the fancy gastroenterologist at the University of Washington Medical Center Digestive Diseases Clinic, an hour waiting in the exam room and another hour telling my sordid bowel history and what was the recommendation?
… Wait for it…
Eat prunes and papayas and take Miralax.
Are you kidding me? Another one bites the dust.
Will someone please stop me from continuing this relentless search?
I should just stop and smell the flowers, instead.