SO, it turns out, I got the new diet a bit wrong. I started it today, but had potatoes at lunch and then came home to an email from my doctor that said I can’t have any starchy vegetables (read: vegetables that taste good). I’m basically allowed to eat fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, seafood, and some meats. This is what I can’t eat:

Grains (Wheat, Rye, Barley, Bran, Bulgur, Couscous, Farina, Kamut, Orzo, Semolina, Spelt, Corn, Cornflour, Cornmeal, Rice, Oats, Millet etc.)

Beans (including peanuts, lentils, peas, and chickpeas, remember!)

Dairy (including sheep and goat dairy)

Starchy vegetables (potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, parsnips, turnips etc.) I’m hoping I can have beets and squash… please god.

Refined sugar

Fake sugar (there goes my splenda)

Meat that isn’t lean (I can have chicken, turkey, lean pork, lean, grass-fed beef and wild game. I’ve got to find me some ostrich!)

Processed foods

Condiments, if possible

Since I messed up lunch with potatoes, I decided to have granola with rice milk and popcorn for dinner… again. I feel like a petulant child: Take THAT life! I am going to eat popcorn for dinner! And then ice cream. Haha!

But, seriously, I hit a low today. Food is all I have left. I don’t drink, smoke, take painkillers. I do nothing. My only joy is fun food and now I lose that, too. Not being able to put milk and splenda/sugar in my tea in the morning is REALLY DEPRESSING. Tea with coconut creamer and honey?? Disgusting. But the low hit because I had an omelette today, also. I’ve been avoiding straight eggs since my blood tests were positive for an allergy. I say “straight” because I haven’t been avoiding mayonnaise or baked goods with eggs. But, after eating the omelette, I felt terrible. I couldn’t breathe very well, my nose got congested, I felt like I had a cold. I know this is nothing new ~ it could have been my usual state of affairs, it could have been the LDN ~ but the severity increased so quickly after lunch, that I took my inhaler and my antihistamine nasal spray, which I’ve been avoiding lately. Now I don’t want to eat eggs at all.

It’s going to be loads of fruit and nuts for breakfast (gag), salads for lunch (bbrrr), chicken breasts and boring veg for dinner (zzzzz), and dark chocolate for dessert (does anyone really like dark chocolate? When they could have a Caramello instead?). I just keep reminding myself: you would do anything to feel better. ANYTHING! So, try it.

I’ll have to learn to cook. I’ll have to dredge up the energy and enthusiasm from somewhere to learn how to make chickpea flour pizza (no cheese) and coconut flour fried chicken (no egg). This is going to be expensive! Coconut milk yogurt, which tastes like flavoured phlegm, costs twice as much as regular yogurt. And nuts ~ which I’ll obviously subsist on ~ cost a fortune. I’m going to eat a Lara Bar every morning. I’d like boxes of Lara Bars for Christmas, please. And a new kitchen.